Sacrificial Love

I heard the most endearing story today about a husband who did a most wonderful thing for his wife.  While I can’t divulge all of the details of the situation, let me say that it brought me to tears to hear how much this man would sacrifice for his wife.  Why would a husband do that?  There is no other explanation than because he has pure, true, and unselfish love for his wife.  What an amazing gift this woman has received from her husband!  

After suffering terrible hardship earlier this year, the woman was crushed beyond belief.  I have felt this pain and know how difficult it is to endure.  And, while a woman bears much burden sometimes, we forget how much it pains our husbands to see us in turmoil.  For a man, it is a helpless feeling to know he cannot fix his beloved wife.  He took a vow in front of God, his wife, family, and friends that he would protect this woman and here is stuck.  He was unable to protect her from her pain and suffering and he can’t make her whole again.  But, what he did do is pray for her unceasingly.  He knew that God was with them even if He seemed far away.  Her husband had never doubted that our most loving God was with them through it all.  In the end, he made the ultimate sacrifice for his wife because he could not bear to see her suffer any more.  This decision could not have come lightly and I know it could not have come without much prayer.  God will bless this husband many times over for protecting his wife and for sacrificing so much for her.  I know his sacrifice was great…beyond words actually. 

As I listened, and cried, to this story I kept thinking about how blessed this woman is.  And then, I realized very quickly that I am equally as blessed with a faithful and loving husband.  My husband has always put me as a priority in his life.  He probably has never prayed for himself a day in his life, but always asked God to bless me and our children.  He has told me time and time again that he has prayed for my soul, but never once mentioned himself.

He worries incessantly about our finances and providing for our family which makes me crazy, but then I realize that he does this out of nothing more than love and to fulfill his marital vows.  He took those vows seriously when we made them and still does today.

People who question why they should get married should read and meditate on the typical marriage vows exchanged in a Christian marriage.  While many people say marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper… I say they are wrong.  Marriage is a covenant.  It’s a sacrament.  It’s a commitment that means so much more than signing a piece of paper and having a reception/celebration.

Because my husband and I were married in the Catholic Church, I will share the following vows:

{Catholic wedding vows are usually preceded by three questions from the priest:

"(Name) and (name), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

The bride and groom respond "I will" or "yes" (Rite of Marriage #34).

The Rite of Marriage (#25) offers several options for Catholic wedding vows. The standard version goes like this:

Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

The priest acknowledges that the couple have declared their consent to be married, prays for God's blessing on the couple, and declares, "What God has joined, men must not divide" (Rite of Marriage #26). This is the point at which, sacramentally, the bride and groom become wife and husband.

The Blessing of Rings follows the declaration of consent. (Again, it is ideal for the bride and groom to memorize these lines.) The priest says a blessing over the wedding rings (Rite of Marriage #27) and then the couple exchange wedding rings (#28):

Groom (placing the wedding ring on his wife's ring finger): (Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Bride (placing the wedding ring on her husband's ring finger): (Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The General Intercessions (sometimes called Prayers of the Faithful or Bidding Prayers) follow, and then, if the sacrament of marriage is being celebrated within Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

Borrowed from: http://catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/catholic-wedding-vows.htm}

When my husband and I said these vows, we said them, first and foremost, in front of God.  This was the promise we made to Him, in His church, in front of all of our witnesses.  Are we perfect?  No way!  Do we argue?  Most certainly!  But, more important than selfishness is our sacrificial love for one another.  And if I want to be completely honest, my husband is ten times better at it than me.  I pray about this regularly and ask for the will to put his needs before mine, but this has been a very slow process.  Luckily, he is patient and kind and is not jealous.  He, like the husband above, is a true gift from our God in heaven.

Please don’t misunderstand my writing as saying that you must have been married in a Christian church to have a valid marriage.  That is absolutely not what I’m saying.  What I’m trying to emphasize, simply by using the Christian vows as an example, is the commitment that man and woman make to one another when they make these vows.  Or, they should make to each other when they take these vows.  Marriage is not for the unsteady or the easily broken.  It’s hard and sometimes you want to run away.  BUT, marriage is a gift given to us that should not, under any circumstance, be entered into lightly.  God does not promise us an easy road, but He does promise to stay with us through the journey.  I’m grateful that today I’m remembering that He’s with me through the journey because my road does not seem easy.

For me, that’s a day in the life…

What is on this mind of mine?

Do you really want to know?  Maybe not.

I've been asked a lot lately why I don't blog anymore.  The first reason is that I've been so short on time with being a full-time student, mother, wife, and employee that the blog got put on the back burner.  The second reason is that what I want to write about just isn't that nice.  And, I've always been taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  So, I've been keeping my keys quiet for a while stewing over what's been cooking in my brain.  It's ugly folks, ugly indeed.

If you are "plugged into" this world at all you know what's been shaking in the US.  Universal Healthcare which includes mandatory birth control even for religious hospitals, clinics, and pharmacies.  People banning eating at chicken restaurants because the CEO supports traditional family and is "pro family".  Politicians slinging accusations at each other relentlessly whether founded in truth or not.  The list could go on for miles and miles.  And, here I sit in my comfy house in the middle of the USA trying to take it all in without blowing my top.

The worst for me is the garbage on Facebook and other social media outlets.  People who call themselves friends are fighting USING CAPS LOCKS over these issues.  They call each other names like bigot, intolerant, stupid, and worse.  Christians are being bashed right and left by people who claim to be the more enlightened and accepting people.  All the while the enlightened and accepting people are calling Christians intolerant, they are not realizing that they themselves are intolerant for what they believe about Christians.

Many people who I see posting these terrible things about Christians lining up for a chicken sandwich but wouldn't line up to help at a food pantry is just wrong.  If it weren't for Christians, food pantries and homeless shelters would not exist.  Period.  And, what about those of you who have had to ask for help yourselves?  Maybe for food, gas money, shelter, or more.  Were the people who helped you not Christian?

When a friend of mine needed an item for an apartment, I asked everybody I knew if they could help.  Who came forward?  A Christian.  Why?  Because we Christians are leading the best lives we can by following Christ.  Does that mean we are perfect people?  Of course not.  And, God knew that.  So, His only begotten son suffered on the cross for ALL OF US!  He died and was buried, then by the grace of God Himself, Jesus rose on the third day.  For ALL OF US!  Later, He ascended into Heaven and was seated at the right hand of the Father (God).  He is there for ALL OF US! He (Jesus) will come again in Glory to judge the living and the dead (ALL OF US) and his kingdom will have no end.  Amen.

Yes, I am a Christian.  I do not believe in hate.  I believe that Christians become an easy target of political issues where the issue should not be based solely on religion.  I dislike politicians of all kinds as I think they are are liars, cheaters, and stealers nor do they truly represent their constituents.

If I had the where-with-all, I would leave this all behind and build a commune in the middle of nowhere so I could practice my faith, teach my children, and ignore the screwed up world around us.  But, as idealistic as that sounds, it's not going to happen any time soon.  So, I guess I'll sit here hiding behind my blog writing about what I want.

Especially when it's a day in MY life...

Soul Mates. No Really...

So many times you hear people say that their significant other is their "soul mate."  Sometimes, this may be true, but more often than not, I bet it really isn't.  Does your spouse really know how you feel, what you think, or how you experience something?  My guess is the answer is NO WAY.  If you're a guy, you have no idea why your wife insists on complicating today's problem with an argument that happened two weeks ago.  If you're a gal, you are totally ticked that he can't see the correlation.  Am I right?  Well, that's how it goes in our house and most of my friend's houses, too.

So, this is why I'm going to write about my true soul mate...if that's what you want to call it.  I didn't meet this girl until about 10 or 11 years ago.  It just so happened that she was dating one of my brothers.  Funny thing is, they broke up, but WE never did!  LOL!  From the first time we met, we hit it off.  We couldn't believe how much we were alike in high school even though we grew up in different towns and had never met each other.  And, since then, we have always remained in touch, were in each other's weddings, she and her husband are the Godparents to one of my sons, the list could go on.

Why does this make her my soul mate, you ask?  Well, yesterday as I was talking to her, I shared with her how I'm feeling about my faith and that I feel lost, unconvinced, and just kind-of showing up to show up.  I was sharing this because I needed to share it with my friend who always knows just what to say and when to say it.  Expecting words of encouragement and gentle guiding, I was shocked and surprised to hear her say she's in exactly the same place.  WHAT?  Once again we told each other to "Get out of my head!"  I can't tell you how many times over the past years we have to say that to one another.  We, honestly, do live some sort of parallel lives.  And, with that said, who else could do that but the Big Guy Himself?  Only God can bring together two people for the reason of truly having somebody who understands you.  It's amazing, isn't it?  So, in the midst of our doubt, He is still  here for both of us - carrying us through our difficult times.

To my friend, and you know you are, I love you!  Thank you for knowing me on the inside...where it matters most.  I miss you and wish I could see you more often, but just knowing that we share a special bond makes the distance seem like a stone's throw. 

Until I see you again, this is a day in the life...

The Line Between Selfishness and (In)Sanity...

or, is there not a line at all?

Since becoming a mom, life has changed dramatically.  No duh, right?  What I'm trying to put into words is this constant battle in me that thinks I'm selfish and/or insane.  And, the only way I can stay sane is to be a little, teeny bit selfish.  BUT, being selfish is just that.  SELFISH.  I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, and still today, if somebody called you selfish it wasn't a good thing.  Honestly, I would much rather somebody call me the b-word than selfish.  I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.

But alas, now that I'm a mother and I'm the only female in the house, I feel like I need my sanity back.  And in order to do that, I'm required to be a tad selfish.  {Sigh}  I just need that quiet time to myself when somebody isn't pawing at me, needing a drink, asking "honey where's the...", the list could go on.  I accept these parts of motherhood and understand they come with the territory, but how can I continue to be pawwed at, pass out drinks, and tell my husband where everything is if I don't have a little down time?  Just wondering.

So that brings me to the upcoming weekend.  My oldest son is competing in a tournament in another city not too far away.  While I love that he has an interest in this sport, I've also been thinking about being very selfish and staying home.  I know, I KNOW!  I need to suck it up and go support my son.  But, it would be so easy for him to go with his dad and have a "daddy-son" day. 

My husband and son are also working on his coveted Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts and need to go to the hobby store after the tournament.  Seriously?  I'm sorry, but spending two hours in the model car aisle with my husband acting like he's a kid does not sound like any fun to me at all.  We all know that it doesn't matter what the paint job on the car looks like.  What matters is if it's fast.  And that comes down to aerodynamics and physics.  Why won't my husband let me tell him about the physics of the thing?  Grrrr!

So, what's the verdict?  Should I be selfish and stay home or be insane and go?  I'm sure I will go.  What's it going to hurt if I'm insane for a few more days, weeks, months?  Oh wait, I think it's been years now.

Maybe when you leave the hospital with your first baby they should hand you a pamphlet that says, "Welcome to Motherhood!  Our local support groups are listed inside for your convenience."

Just another day in the life...