Soul Mates. No Really...

So many times you hear people say that their significant other is their "soul mate."  Sometimes, this may be true, but more often than not, I bet it really isn't.  Does your spouse really know how you feel, what you think, or how you experience something?  My guess is the answer is NO WAY.  If you're a guy, you have no idea why your wife insists on complicating today's problem with an argument that happened two weeks ago.  If you're a gal, you are totally ticked that he can't see the correlation.  Am I right?  Well, that's how it goes in our house and most of my friend's houses, too.

So, this is why I'm going to write about my true soul mate...if that's what you want to call it.  I didn't meet this girl until about 10 or 11 years ago.  It just so happened that she was dating one of my brothers.  Funny thing is, they broke up, but WE never did!  LOL!  From the first time we met, we hit it off.  We couldn't believe how much we were alike in high school even though we grew up in different towns and had never met each other.  And, since then, we have always remained in touch, were in each other's weddings, she and her husband are the Godparents to one of my sons, the list could go on.

Why does this make her my soul mate, you ask?  Well, yesterday as I was talking to her, I shared with her how I'm feeling about my faith and that I feel lost, unconvinced, and just kind-of showing up to show up.  I was sharing this because I needed to share it with my friend who always knows just what to say and when to say it.  Expecting words of encouragement and gentle guiding, I was shocked and surprised to hear her say she's in exactly the same place.  WHAT?  Once again we told each other to "Get out of my head!"  I can't tell you how many times over the past years we have to say that to one another.  We, honestly, do live some sort of parallel lives.  And, with that said, who else could do that but the Big Guy Himself?  Only God can bring together two people for the reason of truly having somebody who understands you.  It's amazing, isn't it?  So, in the midst of our doubt, He is still  here for both of us - carrying us through our difficult times.

To my friend, and you know you are, I love you!  Thank you for knowing me on the inside...where it matters most.  I miss you and wish I could see you more often, but just knowing that we share a special bond makes the distance seem like a stone's throw. 

Until I see you again, this is a day in the life...

The Line Between Selfishness and (In)Sanity...

or, is there not a line at all?

Since becoming a mom, life has changed dramatically.  No duh, right?  What I'm trying to put into words is this constant battle in me that thinks I'm selfish and/or insane.  And, the only way I can stay sane is to be a little, teeny bit selfish.  BUT, being selfish is just that.  SELFISH.  I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, and still today, if somebody called you selfish it wasn't a good thing.  Honestly, I would much rather somebody call me the b-word than selfish.  I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.

But alas, now that I'm a mother and I'm the only female in the house, I feel like I need my sanity back.  And in order to do that, I'm required to be a tad selfish.  {Sigh}  I just need that quiet time to myself when somebody isn't pawing at me, needing a drink, asking "honey where's the...", the list could go on.  I accept these parts of motherhood and understand they come with the territory, but how can I continue to be pawwed at, pass out drinks, and tell my husband where everything is if I don't have a little down time?  Just wondering.

So that brings me to the upcoming weekend.  My oldest son is competing in a tournament in another city not too far away.  While I love that he has an interest in this sport, I've also been thinking about being very selfish and staying home.  I know, I KNOW!  I need to suck it up and go support my son.  But, it would be so easy for him to go with his dad and have a "daddy-son" day. 

My husband and son are also working on his coveted Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts and need to go to the hobby store after the tournament.  Seriously?  I'm sorry, but spending two hours in the model car aisle with my husband acting like he's a kid does not sound like any fun to me at all.  We all know that it doesn't matter what the paint job on the car looks like.  What matters is if it's fast.  And that comes down to aerodynamics and physics.  Why won't my husband let me tell him about the physics of the thing?  Grrrr!

So, what's the verdict?  Should I be selfish and stay home or be insane and go?  I'm sure I will go.  What's it going to hurt if I'm insane for a few more days, weeks, months?  Oh wait, I think it's been years now.

Maybe when you leave the hospital with your first baby they should hand you a pamphlet that says, "Welcome to Motherhood!  Our local support groups are listed inside for your convenience."

Just another day in the life...