Why do people always ask...

Personal questions?  I can't tell you how many times in the last several weeks I've been asked if my husband and I plan to have another child.  A girl specifically.  OK, here's the thing.  We don't decide what sex our child will be, God decides that way before we even have a thought about it.  And, two, why do you think we want to have a girl?  Is there something wrong with just having boys?  Look, my mom wanted a girl after having two boys and she got me.  I'm not going to risk it.  I don't think this world can take another person like me.  I'm too much people, seriously!

And, did it somehow become unacceptable to only have two children?  Or, is it that the two children I do have are of the same gender so one automatically assumes our family is not complete?  What's with it?  Give me a break.  It's not like when you asked me that question today, I fired off the first thing that came into my head.  And that would have been, "Don't you think it'd be a good idea for you to have a husband and not a boyfriend before YOU have anymore kids?"  But I didn't.  I just kept that little tidbit to myself as to not offend somebody as I was just offended.

Whether or not my husband and I add another child to our family is between us and God.  In the meantime, let's try to remind people of the sanctity of marriage.  Of what it means to be a loving couple committed to one another and to our children.  To raise these beautiful children in homes that are safe from violence, drugs, abuse, and more.  I truly believe that every child is a gift from God.  I also believe that it is up to US what we do with those gifts.  My husband and I choose to raise our sons in a faith-filled, Christian home; teaching them wrong from right; instilling the importance of education and being a good citizen.  We teach them manners - how to say please and thank you, excuse me please, and Happy New Year!  My kids aren't anywhere near perfect, but we're trying our best to make them their own self best. 

And when you see that mom or dad struggling with a child in the store or at the park, you might not be able to help right then, but you can say a silent prayer asking God to give that parent strength to be a good mom or dad.  Maybe offer some encouraging words just to help them make it through that one tough moment.  We never do truly know what people are going through, but I know from experience that one person saying one nice thing to me can really brighten my day.

Maybe we should all try that.  Smile at somebody and say good morning, help an older person get their things to their car, buy a coffee for the next person in line, offer that much needed shoulder to cry on.  Whatever little gesture you can offer, try to offer at least one every day.  It will come back to you ten-fold in ways you would never expect.  I can't wait to hear how it turns out!

For now, that's today in my life...

I've Never Been a Big Sister

I was born last.  The youngest of three children AND the only girl.  The only thing I wanted growing up was a baby sister.  Yes, specifically, a sister.  I think every little girl wants a sister.  As a matter of fact, I think every grown up girl wants a sister, too.  For those of us who don't biologically have sisters, we find great solace and comaradarie in our closest friends.  And, those closest friends actually do become family.  Somebody we trust and rely on more than our biological siblings.  It's a strange phenomenon, but nonetheless, one of the best relationships a girl can count on.

That being said, I've experienced something I've never expected in all my years.  I've met a young man in the past few months from another country.  He's smart, thoughtful, charming, and kind.  We sort-of hit it off right away.  Since I'm almost 15 years his elder, our friendship was easy and fun.  And, I like to pick on him :)  That's just my way of letting him know I like him.  And, he has taken it all in stride. 

Over the course of the last couple of months, through all my picking and teasing, I've become quite protective of my foreign brother.  Quite early on, he started calling me "family" and although I thought it was weird, I've now come to expect it.  And, if he doesn't say "Hello, Family!", I tend to think something is weighing heavily on his mind.  He calls my boys his "nephews" and asks about them regularly.  My oldest son makes sure I stop in to see him to say hello...and then double checks to make sure that I did.  I worry that he doesn't get to see his biological family regularly and that he may be lonely, but also realize that it's different for guys than it is for girls.

At the coaxing of my son (he's very empathetic for a 7 year-old), I made sure to stop in and say hello to my "family" today.  I was surprised when I saw him as I don't even know how to describe his attitude.  Nervous and anxious, maybe, but he had a huge grin on his face and said he'd been needing to talk to me. 

I've actually come to enjoy our talks about life, faith, girls, and more.  We've had several talks about girls this past semester.  I like to think I give him great advice, but mostly I think I just talk in circles hoping he can make sense of it all for himself.  I wonder if I actually ever help or if he just shakes his head and laughs after I leave?  Today we had quite a long talk and I'm wondering, actually nervous, if I gave him good advice or not.  I know he can make good decisions on his own, but I like that he looks to me for advice.  Like a little brother would ask a big sister. 

And here we are, after never having that little sister that I always dreamed of...I've been blessed with a wonderful little brother who I didn't meet until I was 37!!  Funny how life works, huh?