For Better or Worse...

I've been thinking about my husband a lot lately.  Maybe it's because our anniversary is just around the corner.  I wonder, sometimes, why he loves me so much.  I'm a mess half the time, tired ALL the time, busy with school and kids, the list really could go on and on.  But, for better or worse, he still loves me.  And I love him.

When we were engaged we met with a sponsor couple.  In the meetings with the sponsor couple, we talked about a lot of things very openly and candidly - it was part of the gig.  We learned so much about each other in those sessions, but the one thing that sticks out the most was a small conversation that started with the question, "Why do you love your fiance?"  Since we had "assignments" and I never liked to turn in my homework late, I was working several days before our meeting.  One would think this would be the easiest question to answer - that I should have been able to write so furiously that my pen couldn't keep up with my mind.  However, when it came time to write I had a blank brain.  Why, indeed, did I love him?  I ended up pondering this question for several days and ended up leaving that one blank as we headed to our sponsor's house.  When we got to the dreaded question, I openly admitted that I left it blank.  Again, in my mind, I tried to come up with a list, but the only thing that kept coming to me was the same answer that had been in my mind for the past several days.  The answer that I thought was too stupid to write down.  My answer was, "Because he loves me back."  My answer today is the same.

There is something to be said about the love a spouse gives to his wife.  Sure, there are 100 things that he does that make life easier both emotionally and physically.  But, I really couldn't ask for anything more than him loving me back.  And, embarrassingly so, he is so much better at it than me.  Not the loving back part, but loving me for me.  He still tells me I'm pretty and that I look nice all the time.  Almost every morning in fact, even when I feel like the bulldozer is still rolling over my face.  He does little things like wash the car and takes care of the laundry.  He's a wonderful dad to our two sons and I delight at watching him in the toy aisle with the boys.  He really is just a big kid at heart.  He's protective of me and will not stand for people disrespecting me.  He will give his seat up in the overcrowded church so an elderly person can sit while he stands at the back.  He teaches our boys about being a gentleman by holding doors for others, helping others in need, and not calling names.  He's a keeper for so many reasons, but the main reason is because he loves me back.

It's funny, when we were dating and became engaged, I think a lot of people thought my husband was the lucky one.  If they only knew who the lucky one really is...

Why do people throw stones?

I've wondered one too many times why people throw stones at one another.  Not literally, but figuratively.  I live in a glass house.  Doesn't everybody else?  I, honestly, just cannot believe what this society is coming to.  Why do I feel like I'm one of the few who tries as hard as possible to live by the "golden rule"?  Does anybody even know what that means anymore?  Or, is everybody just in it for themselves and not even cognisant of their own discretion?  My mind is blown for so many reasons.

I have been out of my element for about 4 months now.  And, while it was a bit novel in the beginning, it is certainly old now and I'm so sick of disrespectful people of all ages.  Young people and professionals alike.  And, while I've worked in some pretty "lively" places, none compares to my current situation.  The language is unbelievably awful.  The disrespect for oneself, others, and private property is beyond belief!  Hearing professionals talk about getting "tanked" about sends me through the roof. 

Oh, and the gossiping!  What in the world?  I have met somebody recently who is in, I would guess, the 50-year-old range, BUT this person acts like a teenager when it comes to the backstabbing and gossiping.  Every day is another story about somebody else doing this or that, but this person is so blind that he/she can't even see that he/she is guilty of the same things and many more.  I can only imagine what is said about me when I'm not there.  And, I'm sure it's a doozy as I received all kinds of crazy looks today...if they actually looked me in the eyes at all.  No wonder this person's children want to live so far away.  I would too!!

I have been called a prude and self-righteous, I now wonder if there really is anything wrong with that?  And, while I don't think I'm self-righteous, I do believe that I have self-dignity and self-respect.  And if I'm a prude, so be it.  Is prude just another way of people saying I have high morals?  If so, thank you!  I will be a prude and wear it proudly!

On another note, I have been shattered and blown away by how much people throw around the "JC" and the "GD".  I don't expect everybody to be a Christian, but man, that is really starting to offend me in a huge way.  Honestly, I'd much rather hear the f-word than the others mentioned above.  Believe you me on this one, I can curse with the best of them and for that I am not proud, but you will not hear "JC" or "GD" cross these foul lips of mine.

Well, that may be quite a rant, but I needed an outlet.  I know many of my friends are going through some really tough struggles right now and I join you in these.  Please know this, I pray for you daily.  I think about you and hold you dear in my heart.  I love you for sticking by me and allowing me to stick by you...even if I'm not very good at it right now.  I cherish friendship and my soul needs it.  So, for those of you who love me just the way I am, thank you!  I love you, too!

I guess that's enough rambling from this attention deficit brain for one day. 

This has certainly been A day in the life...