Is faith a feeling or a place?

On July 8, a dear friend called me and asked what I was doing. I was in the car with my family coming home from an evening at the pool. The car was pretty lively with the three boys yapping around me so she knew it wasn't a great time to talk, but gave me a little preview. She said she was reading out of her Max Lucado book that morning and saying her daily prayers. And since she prays for me daily, today's reading really reminded her of me. She wanted to read it to me and talk about it, but as a mother herself, she sensed that the time just wasn't right. She said she would e-mail it to me so I could read it and "digest".

So I've been digesting...

"Those people who keep their faith until the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22
"Are you close to quitting? Please don't do it. Are you discouraged as a parent? Hang in there. Are you weary with doing good? Do just a little more. Are you pessimistic about your job? Roll up your sleeves and go at it again. No communication in your marriage? Give it one more shot... Remember, a finisher is not one with no wounds or weariness. Quite to the contrary, he, like the boxer is scarred and bloody. Mother Teresa is credited with saying, "God didn't call us to be successful, just faithful." The fighter, like our Master, is pierced and full of pain. He, like Paul, may even be bound and beaten. But he remains. The Land of Promise, says Jesus, awaits those who endure. It is not just for those who make the victory laps or drink champagne. No sir. The Land of Promise is for those who simply remain to the end."
Today is July 12, so I've had 4 days to roll this over in my head, heart, and soul. And, truthfully, maybe 4 days isn't quite enough. But, I thought if I wrote about it, I might see something more clearly.
Now, my dear friend M, knows the struggles of my heart and faith. She's the woman whom I would pick as my wise, older sister if I were allowed. I truly love her. She's wise, kind, compassionate, faithful, hard-working, the list could go on. We've lived through several of the same family situations (we even have a brother with the same name), but because she has a few years on me, she's more sage than I and her heart is softer. My husband says that if somebody doesn't like M, there is something wrong with that other person. I believe my husband is right.
So I've been reading the passage above every day since the 8th. Sometimes two or three times a day and just letting sit in my brain and on my heart.

Here's what I think I've concluded. I love the quote from Blessed Mother Teresa which states: "God didn't call us to be successful, just faithful." I do believe that to be true and I try to live my daily life faithful to Him. As a human, I am not perfect, and sin frequently - in my thoughts, words, actions, and more. For these, I am not proud. However, I recognize on a daily basis that I owe everything in life to God. And, I also trust in Him to be with me through the best and worst days of my life. I assure you this friends, I will "simply remain".

But, I had to dig deeper into this one-liner from Matthew. I have learned that there is always more to the story than one line somebody picks out and writes a devotion. I've done the same thing in my writing, but I always know there's more. This is what I found from my favorite Bible - The Catholic Faith & Family Bible:

Matthew 10: 16 - 32

Coming Persecutions
16"See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 17Beware of them, for they will hand you over to councils and flog you in their synagogues; 18and you will be dragged before governors and kings because of me, as a testimony to them and the Gentiles. 19When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you at that time; 20for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death; 22and you will be hated by all because of my name. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 23When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next; for truly I tell you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

24"A disciple is not above the teacher, nor a slave above the master; 25it is enough for the disciple to be like the teacher, and the slave like the master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household?

Whom to Fear
26"So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. 27What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops. 28Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30And even the hairs of your head are all counted. 31So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.
32"Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; 33but whoever denies me before others, I will also deny before my Father in heaven."

You're probably thinking, "So what? What's your great idea here?"

My idea is this...at least for now. I do not know what to say most of the time when it comes to hard core faith and life issues, but I pray that when I do open my big, fat mouth it's the Spirit of the Father speaking through me. I pray I remember that, to God, I have value even when I feel like I have none to others on earth. That includes myself.

But mostly what I'm thinking, and I know a lot of hard-core friends of mine will disagree, is that if I continue to proclaim Jesus' name from town to town and rooftop to rooftop, it doesn't really matter if I call my current church "home" or move on to the next. As long as I put God above all others, I am sure He will acknowledge me in heaven.

I'm so glad M sent me this daily devotion. She reminded me that she's in my corner and pulling for me to come through this painful time in my faith. I feel so battered and bruised by those who claim they are "cheerleaders"...battle-scarred, if you will. I don't understand what motivates people 2011 years after Christ's death and resurrection to think they are better than others, forget that we are all sinners, and that humanness is a trait given to us by God.

And, while this battle within is not over, it may be winding down. Sort-of. Maybe a move to the next "town" is exactly what my battle-scarred soul needs.